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Sen. Kennedy Proposes Illegal Life-Taking Amnesty Bill

BOSTON (April.12.2006) - Mass. Senator Edward Kennedy in the wake of recent illegal alien prostests has proposed a compromise bill to settle the animosity on both sides of the issue. The Senator’s bill would grant amnesty to anyone who had illegally immigrated someone else’s life to the hereafter. Kennedy spoke about these unfortunate victims who were just prey to circumstances beyond their control. The bill would punish the General Motor’s Oldsmobile Division for manufacturing the Olds Delta 88, which was a primary mode of transportation in 1969 when it plunged into the Chappaquiddick River. Similar fines were set to be levied against Tennessee Whiskey maker, Jack Daniels which had a major influence on the Senator’s state of mind during the event that led to the illegal immigration of Mary Jo Kopechne’s life to the heavens.

The reaction was decidely mixed when the information on this new bill hit the Capital Beltway. Police officers and their convicted criminals were informed about the bills, and the former didn’t like the bill but the latter did. John Hinkley, Charles Manson and Saddam Hussein all favored this bill and called the Senator wishing him well on promoting the bill.

Mary Jo Kopechne was available for comment.